Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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