babies were throwing up all over the place
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
