Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize