Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is my gift to your gina
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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