It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
