What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
