were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
