The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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