your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
