the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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