the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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