I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
