He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
