And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
