just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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