I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
