hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
bring money and cleavage
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
