Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
