it wasn't lemon gatorade
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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