the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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