Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
