I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize