did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
