i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
