But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
