do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
