You're so nebulous sometimes
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
