theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
There are leaves in my underwear?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
