if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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