Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
there is glitter all over my balls
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