if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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