i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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