I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
