i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize