Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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