i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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