we're chasing vodka with high fives
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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