Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
