We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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