Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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