I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
