Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and she was petting her beer can
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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