I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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