My nipple is on Facebook.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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