dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
