I bet he comes in French.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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