she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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