Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
