just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
