would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
