Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize