the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i think my cat just said my name.
I party with great urgency now.
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