hotel room ftw
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
