Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
