U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize