$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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