He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
