She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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