hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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