It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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