yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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