I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
