god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
