You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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