it was like fucking gandolphs beard
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
